myth, dream, and money.

when i woke up yesterday morning, i was silent for a while.
thinking about the dream that i had. then my cell was ringing.
"hey..what are u doing?" i heard my sister's voice on my cell.
then i said, i just woke up and having my first day of my period.
"oh ok then, i've just transferred some money for u, take care and don't forget to eat" she said.
the first thing i did after i hung up the phone was 'smiling'.
well, i had my reason for smiling.
I was raised by a Javanese mother, who believed about myths.
some of them are irrational for me. but some of'em are true.
before my sister called that morning, i had a dream about a baby. my late mom used to say, "it means a good luck" well..well.. yesterday it wasn't the first time happened to me.
that's the reason i smiled. thinking 'hmm.. i just had a dream about a baby, it's gonna be a good sign'
then my sister proved it, hehe.
well, believing some myths are ok, but keeping ur mind be rational is more important.
hmm.. for me, as long as it's a good thing, i don't mind to believe it, cause it helps us to think positive, isn't ?

struggling with pms.

woke up this morning, then found out i was gonna stay all day long in my room.
pms oh pms. every single month i have to battle with this thing.
exhausting!
well, not much to do. since i've been occupied with the sickness.
eat not much, sleep, watch a lame movie on tv, then sleep again, youtubing, blaaah!
not in the mood doing anything.
ahh..wanna eat something sweet, but i have eaten all the chocolates in my fridge. nothing's left. poor me.
women. we are just too complex aren't we?
battle with hormones every month. some eat like barbarians, some have emotional issue(most of us i think), some become a weepy, some just lying on their bed and become a zombie (i'm the member of this group), and some which i envy the most, 'some are just doing ok'.

ok then, gotta sleep again. blame the hormones that i'm not as friendly as usual.

when forgiveness is really unfamiliar

since my emotion has been up and down lately and a pack of tissue became a good friend of mine, it influenced my mood when i was you tubing. i'm listening to Nat King Cole right now.
i have this kind'a weird habit actually.
i remember when i broke up with someone, i was lying on my bed, made myself warm enough under the blanket, and i was watching the best of Sinatra's. strangers in the night, over the rainbow, etc, u name it! sobbing all nite long (with a pack of tissue beside me). my emotion has been exploited that nite.
the next day, i was doing ok.
my days are kind'a depressing lately.
have you ever felt like u want to scream, but all you can do just scream under your pillow?
urgh, i hate that kind'a feeling! keeping something inside is not good at all.
i've been through this for several times, but this time it has pushed me to the limits.
people won't learn much before they lose what they already have.
that's for sure!
when it happens, keep ur regrets for urself!
because when i say i'm done, i mean Done.